JD Sports And Their Degenerate Christmas

Reaction: The JD Sports Christmas Advert 2024, 'The Family Portrait'

The picture is from uncommon-creative-studio.medium.com.

A family strolls over ground laden with a thick white sheet as bright white specks descend, and a deep gold glow illuminates their path. The front door opens, and a warm whiff embraces the senses. The children rush towards the kitchen ahead of Mum and Dad. A star sparkles, things are glistening, the parents empty bags of presents that slide under the tree. Dad puts on his Santa hat. Mum opens a bottle of mulled wine. Nan enters the living room with the kids and places a tray of mince pies on the table. A model of the nativity rests on top of a cupboard. Grandad pulls out a board game. The family move towards the centre of the room. Nan rolls the first dice. It’s a loving scene, a traditional and wholesome family Christmas.

Wondering if there is any chance of major high street brands offering something redolent of the above in their festive adverts this year, I decided to see if I could find a commercial reflecting family, togetherness, tradition, and at least some Christianity. The cretinous crew over at JD Sports had other ideas. The brand annually contends for the award of the most egregious Christmas advert, and 2024 is no exception. See the video below.

From the outset, this year’s JD Sports advert, ‘The Family Portrait,’ has a strange anguished soundtrack on loop. A nurse kisses a young child, presumably her own, before leaving home to go to work. Two other young children appear to be playing in the background. No father is there. It is not said who, if anybody, will be looking after the children or how they will manage on their own.

In another shot, a man holds a baby, and the existence of any mother or other biological family members is not indicated.

At various stages in the clip, young men hang about not doing very much.

A young woman does her makeup, and her mum or her gran mutters something along the lines of: where are you going? The young woman then heads out at night. It was nice to see at least a bit of parental concern find its way into this fast-forward presentation on child neglect and idleness.

We see kids playing before Trent Alexander-Arnold holds a baby next to a Christmas tree, during a rare reference to the holiday, while standing next to another man. Not for the first time in this commercial, I ask myself, whose baby is it? Again, no plausible family dynamic, conventional or otherwise, is suggested. After Alexander-Arnold goes offscreen, the video reaches its nadir.

The advert slows in motion and presents five guys. The central figure holds a baby as the word family appears. What sort of family is this meant to be? It’s telling that this is the first time the commercial slows its fast speed and gives a grouping primary emphasis. I know we see the platforming of families with differing compositions nowadays, and I am by no means suggesting that there is something wrong with all arrangements not in conformity with a traditional family unit, but to expect the viewer to accept this as a ‘family portrait’ is taking the piss. Christmas adverts are usually about everything being made alright in some enchanting way. This is not alright, and it is made strange by the posture the group assume. What the hell is going on? I wonder.

The next clip is also in slow motion and reveals an arrangement of thirteen people. In fairness, I can probably work out some sort of family dynamic. I think there is an older couple, their kids and some grandchildren. But it is unclear exactly what is being portrayed.

Later, a guy makes a point of flashing his chain at the camera. Why has he been directed to do this? Maybe it’s to convey to the audience that JD provides perfect wares for those inclined to engage in posturing of a very primitive kind. Actions like this send the wrong signal to impressionable young people. The message is, get yourself a bit of bling and then stand around in a nondescript location wearing slack crap while doing nothing of note and appearing to have no point whatsoever to your existence.

The person to the right holds a chain to the camera.

There are two wholesome scenes in the video. One features a couple sharing a meal while their baby is present; this is the only instance of a usual family unit in the video as far as I could tell. The other has two boys sit and do some fishing. These moments are at odds with the rest of the piece.

This Christmas, JD Sports sanitises the tragic absence of stable nuclear families while revelling in urban decay. The scene where the nurse’s children are left to fend for themselves glorifies child abandonment. The commercial would have conveyed a better message had the father turned up and looked after them. And perhaps the idle men could have done something of merit. The advert confirmed my view of JD as a symbol of cultural decline epitomised by the slovenly JD bag that readily accompanies degeneracy of some form.

While JD presents men in ways they regard as positive, a few shots of men holding babies do not cut it. The advert does not provide a clear and positive family message despite family being its theme. The viewer sees a series of images lacking coherence and failing to make much sense. Much like most ‘‘progressives’’ today, JD want to persuade you that there is no specific family ideal and that the word family can be defined by whatever mix they throw together. Their production is similar to countless other companies that tack to the left and away from traditionalism. All this is to undermine what we have considered normal in the West.

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